My Daughter Megan x

My daughter will be nineteen years old on Wednesday November 10th.  I was going to write her a post, telling the world how amazing she is.  She is a strong young woman with a maturity that belies her years.  She is stunning with the most amazing pale green eyes I've ever seen.  She is intelligent and diligent and a perfectionist.  She is loving, kind to old people and small children yet still incredibly feisty. She has an uncanny knack of being a magnet for accidents...she'll walk into a doorframe, fall down a hole or drop a can of Rubicon into her computer. I adore her.

However, tonight my little girl phoned me up in tears.  Her boyfriend of over a year finished with her.  He had had one of those conflicts that immature young men get...I love you, but I'm scared of the committment that is developing between us, so I'm ducking out now.  He'd flitted in and out of this state of confusion for a few weeks and to be honest I saw it coming.  So it wasn't a surprise to hear that he had finally gone.

Now this blog isn't about what happened or about allocating blame or saying that he was not worthy of my beautiful daughter.  It's about what happens now!  True to form, Daddy has jumped in the car and is driving to Manchester as I write, to bring his little girl home back into the bosom of her family which is where she needs to be right now.  I will need to pull together all my own past experiences of heartache.  I remember that pain, the rawness of a broken heart.  But experience has taught me that it's an essential part of life's journey.  Life is a richly woven tapestry and every thread, be it good or bad, helps shape and colour it.  Everytime a chapter ends, it presents an opportunity for change.  It is a time for self-reflection and a chance to be a little indulgent, asking yourself what it is you want, without having to consider another person's wants or needs.  I hope that my amazing daughter realises that she is not at fault.  I hope she can look back at her relationship and smile, realising that it has taught her things about herself that she will be able to take on into the next phase of her life.  I want her to move on and grow, keeping her dignity and her integrity intact.  One day she will reflect on this part of her life and see it within the context of the bigger picture.  Her strength will see her through and she will become a better person because of it, of that I am sure. 

So when my teary eyed daughter arrives home tonight, I will hold her in my arms and let her cry.  Then I'll share my wisdom with her. She is at a crossroads and the direction she chooses now will impact on her future....it's a whole new beginning.  And her family will be right behind her. xxx

All About Me!

I'm entering into my third month of blogging and have gathered some wonderful friends and followers along the way.  I've read some amazing posts.  Some very touching and honest, others light-hearted and extremely funny! I love this big virtual world that I have entered.  So I have decided to share some fascinating facts about my life, just in case anyone wants to know more!! 


I married the first boy who asked me out...OK it took a string of Mr Wrongs and over a decade to work out the finer details...but it's a fact nevertheless!

I am vegetarian and glad of it. I've brought all my children up as veggies since 2001...so far only my no.1 son has succumbed to the lure of Pepperoni Pizzas and KFC.

I've not had alcohol since a particularly heavy and embarrassing New Year's Eve party in 2006. I've been totally tee-total since then!  My liver thanks me for it!!

I cook a mean mushroom pie and a fab coffee muffin...but don't bake often enough. This is probably because I'm nearly always on a diet :(

The happiness of my children is quintessential to my very existence.

I cry so often it's unbelievable...I can even cry at adverts.   I cry when Ella performs for me.  I cry at films. My tears are quite prolific!

My husband spoils me!  He is so wonderful and so doting, I can't believe how lucky I am.  He is my best friend, my shopping buddy, my baby daddy and the man I love!

I sometimes google ex-boyfriends just in case they have become serial killers and I can sell my story to the press.  No hits as yet.
I love Dexter...he's my favourite serial killer!

My children are all named after figures from popular culture that I loved in my youth.  Joe, Megan, Ella, Kizzy and Freddy.

I'm really good at times tables and spellings...thanks to a proper old-fashioned education!

I love seeing rainbows. They are magical.  I know the scientific explanation, but I don't believe it!
I always acknowledge magpies when I see them. "Hello Mr Magpie where's your wife?" 

Holidays are really stressful...I like my home comforts and my familiarity far too much.  But I am getting better at going away and no longer take to my bed for hours in tears beforehand!

I love supermarkets...French ones are particularly wonderful...so many dairy desserts under one roof! And the sea food counter rivals the Sea Life Centres with the lobsters and crabs in tanks. Just don't tell Kizzy what they are there for!

Family comes so far ahead of anything else it's ridiculous.
I'm Godmother to one of my nieces and one of my nephews.  I am very proud of my godchildren and feel very honoured to be a part of their life.

I've got 9 GCSE's, 5 A'Levels ( 3 grade A's), a CLAIT RSA and a OU STAC teaching certificate...but I choose motherhood over a career everytime.

I'm really excited for my children's futures...Joe doing so well in his career and moving into a new house with his girlfriend; Meg rediscovering her drive and ambition in her second year of university; Ella doing so amazingly well both academically and musically and yet staying so humble and understated; Kizzy rediscovering her love of learning after we made the decision to send her to a new school and little Freddy, so new, discovering his feet and the world around him!  And through it all...me and Ian there to love, support, encourage and probably fund them!

I consider myself to be the most fortunate person ever. I did "too much much too young" and life could have totally crapped on me...but it didn't. I've got a truly fantastic, helpful, generous, giving man who really loves me and whom I love back. We've got our house, our big TV and we want for nothing. We have a fun-filled, happy household filled with love, hilarity and a spattering of insanity and I love it! I'm proud....possibly a little smug to have such intelligent, beautiful children with such loving hearts and wonderful senses of humour. I am truly blessed!

Some people say I look like Xena Princess Warrior!  I would love the
outfit but could never pull off the acrobatics.  I was the one at school
who could not do handstands.

That's all about me!  I look forward to finding out more about you!

I've got a new camera!!!

Fabulous, gadget mad husband could not bear the fact that I was struggling with an automatic digital camera any more.  For ages the creative side of me has been frustrated with the lack of control regarding taking photographs.  Many a beautiful photographic opportunity has been wasted because my camera decided to focus on the background instead of on Freddy's smile. The slightly blurred pictures on the LCD viewing screen becomes a horrible smudged mess when uploaded onto the PC.

Littlest son is also not the greatest model in the world...his big sister Ella was one of those babies who understood her mother's need to capture every moment in photo form.  She would beam effortlessly at the slightest suggestion of a camera moment.  Freddy on the other hand is a far trickier model to capture.  He'll be all grins and little teeth until the camera shutter button is depressed.  My old camera has a noticeable delay that is just long enough for Fred to turn away.  I have so many photos of the back of his head it's untrue!  Other favourite avoidance techniques include the look down or the lunge, which are illustrated below! 

I have felt for a while that I am missing out on the photos I want, the ones I create in my mind but just can not translate into the end result.  However, I am not someone who finds it easy to spend money on myself.  You just have to look into my wardrobe to get evidence of my lack of personal spending (some of the contents are circa 1991...and not in a good retro way either)!  I do not own a handbag (I bung everything in Fred's changing bag)!  I am still wearing last year's mis-shapen fake Uggs (even though I desperately covet a pair of buckle-up DM ankle boots)!  So the idea of spending the best part of £500 on a non-necessity is something I could not even contemplate.

However, my wonderful husband felt differently.  He wants me to exercise my creativity, capturing those fleeting moments in Freddy's childhood forever.  He wants me to capture the sort of picture that we'll want blown up into a huge canvas for the living room wall.  He knows that I love competitions but simply can't compete in terms of quality (although blurred offerings are not uncommon I personally couldn't put my name to anything I didn't think was worthy of winning). So, to these ends he came home from work today having bought me a Lumix G2. 

He'd done his homework, read the reviews and decided that this was the answer.  I used to love my SLR camera from the pre-digital days, and this seems to combine elements from both old school SLR and uber modern digital photography.  He is excited about it!  Me on the other hand have my usual fear and trepidation regarding change...but I'm looking forward to overcoming that and exploring the potential that this camera has to offer.  Hopefully I'll have some nice piccies to post soon!!

My Teenaged Songstress

I'm the sort of person who loves to jump up on the Karaoke at family parties!  That's not to say I'm a good singer...I'm just keen!!  OK, sometimes it falls into place and I'll rock out a not too shabby version of Total Eclipse of the Heart or Bat out of Hell.  I did a pretty mean rendition of Fame complete with a Flash Mob of dancers for my sister's wedding reception.  (How I wish I could have taken advantage of the open bar before hand to give myself a bit of Dutch courage...but alas I'm tee total and had to do it stone cold sober.  I swear to you I peed a little with the terror of the situation!)  But generally, I'm the one that people laugh at.  I'm the one who cannot hold the notes during harmonies, which is a real problem in my incredibly musical extended family!  My version of Skimbleshanks from the musical Cats has gone down in family folklore as one of my more hilarious attempts at performing.  My niece Liberty who is a Grade 7 pianist could barely contain herself as I sang along to her accompaniment whilst wearing an ELC cat dressing up outfit.  To say it was poor would be a compliment...I was more strangled cat than Andrew Lloyd Webber Cats!  However, laughter is a joyous gift and if my lack of talent delivers this most treasured prize to my loved ones I will continue to sing my heart out whenever and wherever I can!!

With this musically challenged background, one would assume that my children wouldn't stand a chance.  Yet by the wonders of genetics and its wondrous complexity, I have the most talented little songstress for a daughter!  To be fair, my husband is a bit of a guitarist.  He has six guitars upon which he can strum and pluck various pieces including Stairway to Heaven (which never fails to impress me!) but sadly the singing never quite matched up to the finger action. 

So my little Ella, aged just 9 decided to tinker with Daddy's guitars and using a Three Chord Trick book taught herself to play Jolene.  It was pretty good although her little fingers struggled to hold down the strings and chord changes were a little tricky.  By 12, she had taken possession of my husband's guitars and declared them as her own.  She googled chords from songs and learned to play a huge repetoire by heart.  Before long she was cracking chord patterns by ear and correcting tablature.  Then came the songwriting.  Simple little songs at first that made me beam with pride whenever she performed for me.  Quickly they evolved into more complex pieces with a maturity that belied her age.  She can knock up a song in a day and post it on Youtube via webcam.  She is so quiet and shy when introducing her songs but comes alive as soon as the guitar comes into play.  I don't know where this songwriting will take her, but at just 14 years old she is creating her own music.  It brings her such joy and gives her an outlet for her creativity, her emotions and her angst.  I am very proud of my daughter and am so glad she does not take after her mother!!!

My Teenaged Songstress